It's Getting Real

    I'm approaching the time when I have to start filming and showing the cast the script, but then I realized something. I may be 17 and experiencing the fear and anxiety of having to graduate, but I am not a boy. And I may have experienced loss before, but I have never lost someone in my immediate family. Personal relation is an important aspect of story building and being able to connect with the story, so I started to worry that I won't know how my main character, a teenage boy grieving the death of his mother, will actually react or respond to the situation. This led me to try and understand a big and dangerous mystery in life: a teenage boy's brain.

The Wall Street Journal

    To better understand how my main character may try to display himself both when alone and in the presence of his father, I tried to understand how masculinity and gender norms may affect the grieving process. There are five stages of grief that don’t follow a specific guidelime. They can occur sequentially, simultaneously, out of order, briefly, or even for a long time. For the most part, Alejandro is feeling pain and sorrow, traits of the depression stage. However, based on a study of male friendships at the cusp of adulthood, I learned that boys have been told by society to not express any emotions of longing as it aligns with what is more so seen as "feminine" qualities. This causes boys to distance themselves from true feelings of love and companionship from other men as they grow older. I think this would cause Alejandro to spiral back into the other stages of grief, experiencing denial and anger. 

    Alejandro will probably be experiencing feelings from both of these stages, experiencing numbness over the disbelief that his mother is really gone (especially as it must be hitting him on an important day such as his graduation) as well as that it's unfair that he doesn't have her there, which is what causes him to lash out and speak rudely to his father. The natural detachment from other men is also what causes him to not accept help from his father or realize that he's going through the same things. After watching an interview of director Lukas Dhont discussing the themes of masculinity and teenage boys regarding his coming-of-age drama film Close, I've learned that men have been taught and are expected to act tough. Since Alejandro is alone for the majority of the scenes, I wanted to depict the sense that he's letting his guard down and allowing himself to feel the emotions. I'll have to work closely with the actor to make sure he's portraying expressions of sadness and loneliness. Because of the grief, the fact that he's a teenage boy, and the absence of a mother, I also think I'll add elements to the mise-en-scene of a disorganized room. Once his father comes into the picture, however, Alejandro is going to have a visible change of demeanor, putting up the front of a strong masculine image. I'm thinking of maybe having Alejandro either turn away from the door, or add the symbolic touch of quickly buttoning up his shirt as if putting on a physical shield. Alejandro will also speak to his father in a disinterested and mal-mannered tone to show toughness as well as alluding to the pent up anger that lives within him.

Link: https://youtu.be/vXkhTrc8ISc?si=14MJKGABX_EvK1L-

Understanding the five stages of grief. Cruse Bereavement Support. (2023, September 26). https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/five-stages-of-grief/#:~:text=The%20five%20stages%20%E2%80%93%20denial%2C%20anger,isn’t%20often%20the%20case.